There is no denying that bread baking as with baking anything is a delicate process.
Bread baking involves so many things that first time bakers are often discouraged after a few failed attempts to turn out professional looking and tasting loaves.
Little do they realize that if they only possessed the professional Baker's secrets bread baking would be so easy that the bread would practically make itself!
For instance: How many amateur bakers know the secret to keeping bread from sticking to the pan every time?
None! So when they try their hand at bread baking for the first time their bread sticks to the bread pan, and ends up a crumbled mess if they try to force it out.
Then they cry and give up thinking that the problem lies with them.
The shocking truth is that it doesn't!
The problem lies with their lack of knowledge of THE baker's bread baking secret.
The secret professional chefs and bakers won't tell you, the secret they guard so jealously.
My father happened to learn this bread baking secret in his younger baking days (which is no surprise since his great great grandfather was a chef for the White House and owned his own bakery) and has passed it on to his children ever since.
Okay, okay, I know you're probably screaming at me by now "Beth, get on with it! Tell us the bread baking secret already!"
So here it is; You will need only one tool besides for the oil and bread pan you already have, and that is quite simply cornmeal (you shouldn't need more than 1/4 to 1/2 cup for two loaves of bread).
"Cornmeal?" you ask doubtfully. "YES, cornmeal!"
No, you do not add the cornmeal to the bread ingredients! That is not the bread baking secret.
What you do is you oil your pan as usual, and you lightly sprinkle cornmeal on all of the sides and bottom inside of the bread pan.
Now you can safely place your bread dough into the pans without fear of it sticking to them.
While your bread is baking, instead of sticking to the pan, your bread will stick to the cornmeal and slide easily out of the pan when done baking.
You may need to use a butter knife and slide it in between the pan and the bread before turning the pan over and allowing your bread to pop out.
A lot of the time this will be unnecessary however and your bread will pop out just by your turning the bread pan upside down.
You will probably also want to use the butter knife to scrape the excess cornmeal off the bottom and sides of the bread as you may not care for the taste of cornmeal.
This bread baking secret will work whether you're baking a batter bread or a rising bread (also called yeast bread). I personally use it for both.
Here is another treasured bread baking secret, this one only for batter breads:
On the last ten minutes of its baking time cover the bread pan containing the batter bread with another bread pan (a steel bread pan works best), and leave it on until the bread is finished baking.
This will keep the batter bread from burning or becoming too hard on top. You may vary the time you leave the steel bread pan on according to how your batter bread usually looks when it is finished.
If it is a very dark brown on top and difficult to slice because the top is so hard, then 20 minutes will work best. But if it is just a little too hard on top and a little too brown the 10 minutes should suffice.
Do not cover the bread at all if it usually comes out golden and soft on top after the baking is completed.
You may also glaze a batter bread on top with a tablespoon of melted butter mixed with a tablespoon of honey, and sprinkle some flaked coconut or sliced nuts on top of that.
To glaze you start by taking the bread out of the oven five minutes before the required baking time is finished, then spread the butter/honey mixture on top of the bread, sprinkle on your coconut or chopped nuts and bake for the remaining 5 minutes.
Here is another useful bread baking tip for rising breads:
If your bread loaves over rise (say because you were busy and forgot about them), then you can use a pair of scissors to cut off the excess sides, being careful not to cut any dough from off of the top.
You may then use this excess dough to make rolls. You simply oil a pizza or cookie sheet and form the dough into several small balls.
Rise them for another half hour and then bake on 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown.
Do yourself a favor and put these tried and tested bread baking secrets immediately to use in your kitchen, and your family will rave over the results.
Get everything you need to help you plan the baby shower that you are going to have for Mommy-to-Be and get everything for free!
This Baby Shower Party Planning Package includes:
Pre-printed baby shower invitations that you can personalize, or the instructions and templates you can use for making your own, including matching mailing and return address labels
Pre-printed baby shower guest book pages, and options for putting together a baby shower guest book that can also be used by Mommy-to-Be for doing her thank-you cards
A baby shower table decoration idea that is easy to make following the illustrated instructions provided and matches the motif of the invitations and guest book
Pre-printed thank-you cards that Mommy-to-Be can use that also match the baby shower invitations and guest book
Baby shower games
More free printable baby shower clipart that you can use to make your own invitations, guest book pages, table decoration, banners, and thank you cards following the instructions that accompany the pre-printed versions!
You don't need anything special, and everything can be made using plain computer paper (although there are options for using card stock or postcard stock).
Each individual piece of the Baby Shower Party Planning Package comes with the links you need to download either the pre-printed items or the templates you can use to make your own. Each includes links to the other pieces of the package. However, all the links you will need for everything in the package are provided in the accompanying illustrated examples page, so you can simply bookmark that page and use it to guide you to everything you'll need.
Each article provides easy-to-follow, illustrated instructions for personalizing the pre-printed invitations and cards, how to complete the mailing labels, and how to make the table decoration. You can easily use these instructions to make your own, using the other clipart that is available at Mom's Break Baby Shower. You can also use the provided templates as guides to help you design your own cards and labels---even if you don't have card-making software!
Stay-at-home moms are no longer just the co-stars from
Leave It To Beaver, the Brady Bunch, and other television
shows from a bygone era. Taking care of the kids has become
the cool thing to do again for women in their 20s and 30s.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are at least
5.4 million stay-at-home parents in the United States
alone. These are a dynamic bunch of women, and men,
who see opportunities in their domestic role, especially
the opportunities presented by the Internet.
Leave It To Beaver, the Brady Bunch, and other television
shows from a bygone era. Taking care of the kids has become
the cool thing to do again for women in their 20s and 30s.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are at least
5.4 million stay-at-home parents in the United States
alone. These are a dynamic bunch of women, and men,
who see opportunities in their domestic role, especially
the opportunities presented by the Internet.
Sure, many of these parents gave up exciting careers and
important roles in their community to take up the
time-honored tradition of rearing their children.
You yourself may have put goals and dreams on the back
burner when you accepted the commitment and responsibility
of raising your little ones. You understand the importance
of a parent being there for those firsts: the first crawl,
the first step, the first "momma" and "dadda."
important roles in their community to take up the
time-honored tradition of rearing their children.
You yourself may have put goals and dreams on the back
burner when you accepted the commitment and responsibility
of raising your little ones. You understand the importance
of a parent being there for those firsts: the first crawl,
the first step, the first "momma" and "dadda."
At the same time, though, you may feel like you have taken
on too much. Not only do you have the pressures of bringing
up a smart, well-behaved child. You worry about being able
to make ends meet to provide everything your child needs.
on too much. Not only do you have the pressures of bringing
up a smart, well-behaved child. You worry about being able
to make ends meet to provide everything your child needs.
If this sounds all too familiar, take a deep breath, turn
off the television, and log online. No, don't think you're
going to surf the Web to just pass the time. The Internet
is your portal to transforming your stay-at-home life. In
between the diaper changes and feedings, bedtimes and
burpings, you can reach beyond the walls of your home and
access the outside world as never before. The benefits are
as close to limitless as the millions of sites on the Web,
including:
off the television, and log online. No, don't think you're
going to surf the Web to just pass the time. The Internet
is your portal to transforming your stay-at-home life. In
between the diaper changes and feedings, bedtimes and
burpings, you can reach beyond the walls of your home and
access the outside world as never before. The benefits are
as close to limitless as the millions of sites on the Web,
including:
o E-support system. Whether you're searching for other
stay-at-home moms to lean on, folks with the same health ailment as yourself, or even just other Oprah fanatics, the Internet is like one big community center where you can find them.
stay-at-home moms to lean on, folks with the same health ailment as yourself, or even just other Oprah fanatics, the Internet is like one big community center where you can find them.
o Friends and fun. Through e-mail, chat rooms, and instant
messaging, the Internet is one of the easiest ways to keep
in touch with old friends and family members, as well as
to meet new acquaintances.
messaging, the Internet is one of the easiest ways to keep
in touch with old friends and family members, as well as
to meet new acquaintances.
o Cyber community. Look for your neighborhood's Web site for information on shopping, festivals, town hall
meetings, and other local interests. If you can't find your
town's home on the Internet, take a leadership role in
creating it with the help of your neighbors.
meetings, and other local interests. If you can't find your
town's home on the Internet, take a leadership role in
creating it with the help of your neighbors.
o Cap and gown. Many community colleges and universities offer e-courses. You never need to step foot on the campus to earn degrees in finance, English, accounting, or
whatever else suit your fancy.
whatever else suit your fancy.
o Steals and deals. If you're looking for some of the
biggest discounts and best selection for anything from
electronics to groceries, books to automobiles, the Web
is your marketplace.
biggest discounts and best selection for anything from
electronics to groceries, books to automobiles, the Web
is your marketplace.
o Cash flow. The Internet can work for you, as well, if you
are on the other end of the cash register. The Web
provides an unparalleled avenue to sell goods. It can link
you to interested buyers if you're only looking to unload a
few knickknacks to unclutter your home. If you have enough
stuff to open a garage sale, you can do that, too, without
time or space constraints. Or try your hand at a full-time
online business if you get bit by the entrepreneurial bug.
are on the other end of the cash register. The Web
provides an unparalleled avenue to sell goods. It can link
you to interested buyers if you're only looking to unload a
few knickknacks to unclutter your home. If you have enough
stuff to open a garage sale, you can do that, too, without
time or space constraints. Or try your hand at a full-time
online business if you get bit by the entrepreneurial bug.
The Internet can open up the outside world to you for all
of these benefits, but you need the right set of keys to
open the door. Your first "key" is the type of Internet
access you use. You'll need to weigh your budget versus
how fast you want to navigate on the Web. Cable and DSL
hook ups provide zippy access but can cut into your profit
margins. Dial up, on the other, can be cheap or even free,
but can slow down your productivity.
of these benefits, but you need the right set of keys to
open the door. Your first "key" is the type of Internet
access you use. You'll need to weigh your budget versus
how fast you want to navigate on the Web. Cable and DSL
hook ups provide zippy access but can cut into your profit
margins. Dial up, on the other, can be cheap or even free,
but can slow down your productivity.
Once you have your hook up established, you'll need to
get your feet wet before you do heavy surfing. Find trusted
sites for your activities. Look for certified schools to
take courses at and secure shopping zones to purchase at.
When selling or starting your own business, do your
research to find the most trusted and thrifty auction and
classified sites. The right classified sites can be like
your neighborhood paper, except they reach millions of
people around the globe. In many cases, the best classified
sites will also charge no start up or transaction fees and
offer safe ways to communicate and do business with clients.
get your feet wet before you do heavy surfing. Find trusted
sites for your activities. Look for certified schools to
take courses at and secure shopping zones to purchase at.
When selling or starting your own business, do your
research to find the most trusted and thrifty auction and
classified sites. The right classified sites can be like
your neighborhood paper, except they reach millions of
people around the globe. In many cases, the best classified
sites will also charge no start up or transaction fees and
offer safe ways to communicate and do business with clients.
Settle these basics, and you can be virtually ensured to
become a true M.O.M, a master of multitasking. In the time
it takes your child to take a nap or watch an episode of
Blues Clues, you will be able to earn 4 more credits to
your finance degree, buy a new mp3 player, and sell a
closet's worth of stuff.
become a true M.O.M, a master of multitasking. In the time
it takes your child to take a nap or watch an episode of
Blues Clues, you will be able to earn 4 more credits to
your finance degree, buy a new mp3 player, and sell a
closet's worth of stuff.
Being a single Mom while trying to run a household has more than enough stress, let alone than when something breaks down. In my opinion, most Single Moms running a household accomplish more in one day, than most Men do in a week.
I am not trying to be prejudice towards Men because, after all I happen to be one. However, it amazes me at how much many single Mothers get accomplished in a day. Not only do many of them hold down full time jobs, but they also need to take care of their family as well. Usually their day starts off getting up early. Then feed the kids breakfast, pack their lunches, and get them off to school. All of this must accomplished before going to work herself. By then, I would be spent, and ready for a well deserved beer.
However for many single mothers their day is only beginning. After getting the kids dressed, fed and off to school hopefully there will be a few moments for herself before going to work. I bet that as hard as kids can be in the mornings, going to work would seem like a break to me.
After working all day she now must make sure the kids have arrived home from school safely, then cook and feed them dinner. Hopefully her kids are old enough to help clean up the kitchen. Next she will make sure there are plenty of clean clothes and, the kids have been bathed for the next school day. After dinner there is homework to get done. Plus whenever there is time, she must squeeze in grocery shopping, paying bills plus countless other duties I can't begin to think of. Many kids also have after school activities such as Sports, Band etc? Honestly, I have no clue how they do it.
I suppose if I was put in the same situation I could somehow find the strength to do it all but, I have my doubts. I find it hard enough to complete most tasks let alone, trying to raise a family on my own.
I grew up in a household with a Single Mom and although at the time I did not realize it, My Mother did a lot more than I ever gave her credit for. I wished she would have lived long enough for me to really show how much I appreciated what she did.
While I was growing up, one of things that would frustrate my Mother the most was when something need repair around the house. This literally would drive Mom nuts. This usually put my Mother in a bad mood and there was a lot of extra stress in the household until whatever it was that needed fixing had be dealt with.
I often analyzed this, and wondered why a plugged drain in a bathroom which we hardly used would bother her so much. Certainly we could all share one bathroom! Later in life I realized the frustrations she felt was because of the lack of knowledge, when it came to home repairs.
Usually not wanting to hire a contractor, she often depended on a married so called boyfriend to fix things for her. My Mother became a widow at a young age and I am sure she felt victimized. Life dealt her a tough blow ,and I was very young at the time so I was not much help. I often wondered if she compromised herself just to get things done or, did she really have any real interest in this guy. Back then there were not many resources for Women to learn as there are today and it was still a "Man's world" so to say.
In the last decade there has been an increase in the number of Single Women who are beginning to take on even more. Many Women today are learning how to repair the many common items around the house. Taking on challenges that were once thought of as "The Man's Work" is now becoming status quo. By educating themselves in these areas, Women are becoming stronger and more self confident. Even the media today portrays this on a regular basis and Single Women have become a new target market for advertisers.
"You've Come a Long Way Baby" was a phrase that maybe was ahead of it's time, But Not Anymore!
Father's Day, June 15, is just around the corner. It's that unique day when so many dads are treated like kings and honored by their kids with gifts of love, respect and admiration. There's no denying the need of a father in a child's life, and today there are many different labels for dads; step dad, divorced dad, single dad, Mr Mom dad, gay dad.
What they have in common is a positive impact on their kids' lives in terms of increased self-confidence, a strong sense of well-being, self-control, and success in school. While a small portion of deadbeat dads ruin the reputation of the majority, we would hope that these missing-in-action dads could be around for their kids. But it's also true that over 90% of dads believe that being a dad is one of the most important roles they could have. While celebrating Father's Day, we offer some insight into two of the most common blended family dads: the step dad and the divorced dad.
Step Dads
There may be a lot of confusion about the role of step dad since, as male head of the household, he has important financial and physical responsibilities, he cannot take for granted that he has those same rights and responsibilities with his step kids. He's not the birth dad and that distinction often causes tension, especially when he has every good intention of being a supportive husband and breadwinner.
Conflict may arise in any number of ways:
1) the kids may resist his influence because they feel loyalty to their birth father;
2) their mother may feel he's too hard on her kids, critical of her parenting skills, or unbalanced in his treatment of her kids and his own; or
3) he may feel anger and irritation about his wife being disrespected by her kids or by being snubbed or discounted himself.
Any way you slice it, these circumstances bring about tension in the home and arguments between the couple. Issues like these are common reasons for second marriages falling apart more quickly than first marriages.
Following are some fundamental guidelines for step dads who may be struggling to define their role with their step kids:
1. Keep in mind that your role is to support your partner in parenting as a mentor, coach, or friendly uncle. Take it slowly, and over time, when mutual trust and respect has grown, you may develop a stronger, more active role with everyone's support.
2. Focus on being on the same page as a couple, which means not only loving and respecting each other, but communicating clearly about household responsibilities, family budget, rules of behavior, methods of discipline, and the role you play in defending her decisions. Her assignment is to define limits on behavior and follow through on consequences, and your role is to support her and remind the kids what their mom wants. A weekly Family Meeting is an effective way of establishing behavioral guidelines and getting recurring issues on the table for discussion and resolution.
3. Be aware of unrealistic expectations by reading and learning about what it means to be an effective step dad. And, remember, it takes a lot of time, patience, understanding and sensitivity to help the family move towards mutual affection, trust and connectedness.
4. Consider an enlightening coaching session with a knowledgeable blended-family coach to help the step dad in your family cope with some of the issues and challenges he may be dealing with.
Divorced Dads
Father's Day for many divorced dads may not be a particularly joyous occasion, especially if they are not close to their kids physically or emotionally. There are many reasons why divorced dads feel pushed to the side and are apparently unimportant in their child's lives: geographical distance because of work, remarriage, or divorce poison where the children's mother has carefully alienated the kids from their father with the intention of completely removing him from their lives.
Dads may be disheartened but they should always keep in mind just how important they are as they guide, teach, and show love and support to their kids, even if it is long distance.
Following are some basic guidelines for Divorced Dads:
1.Try to get along with your child's mother for the sake of the children. Come to terms on a visitation schedule and a co-parenting plan. Kids want peace between you so they can enjoy both their parents, without worrying about your specific issues with each other.
2.Kids thrive on structure. Stick to planned phone calls, pick up and drop off schedules and behavioral expectations while at your home.
3. Avoid being Uncle Dad or Disney Dad with non-existent limits, and inconsistent discipline; this teaches the kids to believe you are a peer and best friend and not a responsible parent guiding a child. Uncle Dad parenting results in disrespect, emotional underhandedness, and eventually, kids who develop behavioral issues, since they have no respect for authority.
4. Consider an enlightening professional coaching session with a blended-family counselor who may help you gain new insight on problems that you face.
Father, who is our second God, is responsible for our appearance on this earth and who has given us life to live. He is not only responsible of giving us life but also behind our education, growing up and also for everything which we needed in life. We really need to accept his contributions in making our life better and give a little effort to show him our gratitude towards his presence in our life. What can be a better day to express all our heartiest feelings for our father than Father's Day?
Father's Day is the occasion, on which we get a chance to make our father happy and make him proud on his deeds for his kids. So, start your father's day with something which can lead a smile on his face. Try some handy tips given here to cheer up dad on this special day.
Greetings for Father
Send your father a sensuous message describing your emotions for him. Try message in a bottle for greeting your father. Sending even a simple "I love you dad" message in a bottle will make an impact. Your father will really love your choice of making the morning of his day special. You will not find any other ways to greet your father than wishing him via message in a bottle.
Celebrate With Your Dad
If possible, be with your father for whole day, and try to make him happier than other days. Be a reason of his happiness, along with the greetings message in bottle you can gift him a bottle of vintage wine or something which is as special as your father to make the day more memorable. I bet, he will feel the intense love, and care for him in your heart and that will result more affection between father-child relations.
Finishing up the Father's Day
While greeting your father with message in a bottle, put a plan for whole day celebration along with your greetings. Plan the day properly, after wishing him go for prayers at nearby church and request god for your fathers long, healthy and prosperous life, return with a bunch of favorite flowers of your father and present him. At evening go for a movie or something which your father loves, and make the night memorable with a delicious dinner for your father at a perfect restaurant, or better you cook for him and arrange the dinner at home itself. By this way you can make him feel more special and at last offer him the vintage wine gifted along with the message in a bottle.
Believe me, your father will really cherish the day for his whole life. The bottled message will become memorabilia of this particular day for him, and it will keep him reminding your love, care and affection for him.
Planning a baby shower for the expectant mother in your life is incredibly exciting and lots of fun. However, planning a baby shower can also be time consuming, and it can be hard to get everything done in the time allotted.
One of the most important things that must be attended to is choosing the best invites to let everyone know of the upcoming celebration of life.
==The Baby Shower Invitations Are The Key ==
After all, in a way the invitations to the party are the key to everything else involved in the shower. After all, if no one knows about the party, no one will be able to attend.
Luckily, there are so many kinds of invitations for baby showers that it should be fairly easy to find one that is right for you.
==Picking Appropriate Baby Shower Invitations ==
Invitations to a baby shower can be as simple or as fancy as you want to make them. It is important to choose a invites that is appropriate to the style of the mother to be.
==The Internet ==
One place to start the search for the best invitations to any baby shower is on the internet. The internet is a great way to search for hundreds of different invitations in a very short period of time.
There are a number of web sites that are dedicated to planning, and they often have some excellent resources for invitations to your baby shower. In addition, there are a number of online printers with their own web sites, and they often have a number of excellent sample invites for you to choose from.
== Your Local Print Shop And Office Supply Store ==
If you would rather choose the local flavor for your invites, chances are your local print shop or office supply store has a good selection of invitations that would be perfect for any baby shower.
== Print Your Own Invitations ==
Another great option is to print your own invitations to the party. There are a number of kits, available at both local office supply and software stores and on the internet, which allow you to create beautiful invitations using only your home computer and your deskjet printer.
Just be sure to buy plenty of ink for your printer. Printing your own invitations gives you a great amount of freedom and allows you to be extremely creative when creating and printing those invitations.
Baby shower kits are a practical way to find everything you will need to host a party. Today you can find them in various fun themes to fit your style. They are also a smart idea if you are feeling overwhelmed with hosting a shower or have limited time to do the shopping required.
Most shower kits provide the following:
Invitations
Table Cloths
Table Centerpieces
Plates & Utensils
Balloons & Streamers
Party Games & Activities
Prizes
Party Favors
Name Tags
Thank You Cards
Planning Guides and Party Tips.
Adding a theme to your gathering can be a lot of fun for your mom-to-be and guests. It can also simplify your decision-making regarding your decorations, invitations and menu selections! A baby shower kit takes this simplicity one step further. When selecting a theme take in consideration the personal taste of your expectant mom, your guest list and the style of your shower.
If you are unaware of the sex of the baby look at gender-neutral themes such as rubber ducky or nursery rhyme. Other popular themes are Little Prince or Little Princess Baby Shower, Old MacDonald Farm Animals and Noah's Ark Baby Shower. Your options are endless!
Baby Shower Kits maybe your answer to taking away some of the stress of planning and hosting a baby shower. If you are still unsure a shower kit is the best option for the party you will be hosting, take a moment and go surfing online. There are many reputable online website stores that all-in-one kits a long with other party necessities. You will find a large selection of themes to choose from, as well as a variety of options all at reasonable rates.
Taking the time to look online will allow you to know what is available and give you some tips and ideas for your party. Happy Planning!
When you first saw the pink plus sign on your pregnancy stick, what were your expectations of motherhood?
Did you expect that being a mom would instantly be a natural, bonding experience?
Did you expect to be constantly overjoyed and completely fulfilled being a full-time stay- at-home-mom?
Did you expect you'd be able to figure out how to balance your work life and home life without any struggles?
Did you expect that you'd actually know what you were doing?
In most cases, if a mom is unhappy somewhere in motherhood, her expectations are way too high. Think about all the roles you play; mom, wife, daughter, friend, cook, caregiver, chauffeur, housekeeper, employee, just to name a few.
Moms today are expected to do it all and they think they should love every minute of it. If it doesn't always turn out that way, they feel let down, guilty or unhappy. Cut yourself some slack, moms! It's hard to make the transition to motherhood. Most modern moms had a career before they became a mom. They spent money on education, time on building a career and then either put it on hold or gave it up completely when the kids were born. While you love being a mom, for some, it's hard to let all of that go. You had an identity back then and a strong sense of who you were.
There's also a tremendous amount of pressure moms put on themselves. They try to be perfect while living up to the expectations that have been put on them. This almost always leads to disappointment because you can't reach the unattainable. Perfect doesn't exist. Especially when it comes to motherhood.
The key to surviving motherhood is to get realistic. Here are 6 ways you can start.
1) Embrace your imperfections and allow yourself to be human. Give yourself a break! Learn from your mistakes and find ways to improve the things that don't come naturally to you. Focus on what you're really good at and rediscover your sense of humor. Remember, if things don't work out the way you planned, it's usually a funny story.
2) Redefine motherhood. Create your own realistic definition of what motherhood means to you. Take out the stuff that doesn't fit in your world and introduce new ways of doing things that jive with your personality and values.
3) Nurture all the roles you play. Be a mom, a wife, a career woman and whoever else you want to be. But don't define yourself in one role or give all your energy to just one area. You'll burn out and neglect the other wonderful parts of who you are and all you have to offer.
4) Stop trying to be Supermom. She doesn't exist! The sooner moms stop comparing, judging and envying each other, the sooner we'll all embrace who we are as individuals. No one is perfect even when it looks like it on the outside. If you still feel inferior to that mom who always looks so put together, I guarantee she hates having to get her roots done every 3 weeks.
5) Be who you are regardless of what others may think. Be strong, courageous and dare to be different. Be honest and do what feels right for you and your family. If others have a problem with it, realize it's their problem and they are just jealous that they don't have the strength to go against the grain.
6) Accept that you won't please everyone. If you're working and you can't be at every field trip your child has, be OK with that. It will mean more when you can attend. Make a commitment to let go of guilt and learn to say no.
Action Challenge:
It's time to alter your expectations and get real. Make a list of every expectation you have of yourself.
Now take a look at your list and ask yourself:
· If I could get rid of one stressful thing in my day what would it be?
· If I had one more hour in my day, what would I do with that time?
· Which of my expectations are optional and which ones have to stay?
Prioritize your list and mark off the expectations that have the lowest value to you. For example, making a healthy meal may be a high priority, but cleaning the kitchen right away can wait so you can spend time with your kids.
Revisit the things on your list that you think you can't change. For example, is it really impossible to hire help a few days a week? You may not think you have the money for it but the extra time it allows you will be invaluable.
Ease into this new life of realistic expectations. Try it for one week and see how you feel. It's time to motherhood the incredible experience you always expected it to be.
Carly Cooper is a life coach, speaker and author of Balance the Mother Load: R.E.I.N.V.E.N.T. Your Life in Just 8 Weeks! She served as the National Mom Ambassador for Living Well, a Johnson and Johnson initiative, is a workshop and seminar facilitator for Shepell fgi and has been interviewed in various magazine publications and TV and radio shows
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take."
- Cardinal Mermillod
The crux of feminist theory is the concept of the family. The family is the building block of the society and social scientists over the ages have designated the role of holding this unit together on women. This has not gone down well with the fighters of women's rights. They have objected strongly to this as derogatory to the independence of the woman. They have also stressed on the necessary of economic independence for the woman to raise her voice against male oppression. In the modern age, women have been able to throw off the shackles to a large extent. However, if a woman herself chooses to stay at home and raise a family?
Female students have a general tendency to work after they complete their education. If someone chooses a family life within the confines of a home, her peers may take it to be a rather timid and obsolete choice. I feel it's the choice of the individual that matters. If she chooses to be a wife and mother at home, we cannot jeer at her decision. Nor must we feel that she lacks in ability to go out there and rub shoulders with the competitive, inconsiderate world.
A mother staying at home has to take stock of a lot of things. She makes sure that the family wheel stays well lubricated. She helps her husband and children go out for work or education. She keeps them well fed. She takes care of their things and makes sure they are there at hand when needed. She takes care of the bills and other expenditures. She takes care of the finances and plans her savings according to the income of the household. So she does everything that an office manager would be doing. The difference is tat she is doing it on a microcosmic scale, but that does not talk lowly of her efficiency.
There lies another difference too. She does it out of love. The problem arises if her family does not appreciate that love and caring. That is where feminists who are against women staying at home have a problem. The lack of economic independence does compromise her position. Mothers have it particularly difficult if the father is not responsible to the children. Many mothers stay put at home in a loveless marriage for the sake of their children just because they do not have the means to step out of the threshold of stability and security. She has to bear the consequences of not earning a living.
It is very difficult to conclude which path is the best for a mother. It depends on individual calling. Homemakers need not be totally devoid of earnings today. They can do a lot of free lancing work from home which will take care of their expenditures, even if their first priority is the family. What we can do is to empathize with our mothers who are homemakers as they deserve all the appreciation that you can possibly assimilate. What we can also do is respect the sacrifice of love that they have undergone to make us have a better life.
As a new mom there are many challenges we have to go through that we didn't expect while we were pregnant. There is so much information our there designed to tell us how to take care of ourselves while we're pregnant, but as soon as junior arrives all the guidance and support is for them and our own needs falls on the back-burner.
Giving birth changes our lives in millions of little ways. Good sleep is often a distant memory, our bodies are turned upside down, and our emotions are taken for a joy-ride on a rollercoaster....just to mention a few things. And it is not as if we have a lot of time on our hands to deal with the big changes. Now we have this beautiful little person to take care of, so we are hardly going to have much spare energy or time to take care of ourselves.
These are just 5 of the common challenges new moms face and some ideas for getting around them:
Taking Care of Your Own Needs
When we hit mommy mode everything we do is for our baby who is dependent on us for everything. We often wrap ourselves up in taking care of baby and forget to take care of ourselves. This causes many new moms to start to lose their sense of who they are and they can feel resentful about being at home, or even towards their baby for being so helpless. It crucial to schedule regular time each day to do something for yourself (even if it's only for 10 minutes). This could be taking time to shower and do your hair, meditate, do some walking or other exercise, or simply sit and write in your journal. Putting in the effort to take the time to do something for yourself that makes you feel good will keep you from getting burnt out or overwhelmed.
Feeling Sexy
After you've had a baby the changes that your body has gone through within the last 40 weeks takes its toll. Stretch marks, extra fat deposits, sore breasts that have changed in size, all of these things can make it difficult for you to feel sexy. Many women worry that their husband is going to look at them differently and that he won't feel the same way about them. It is important to discuss these feelings with your husband and at the same time not put too much pressure on yourself. You need to remember that you can't expect your relationship between you and your husband to be exactly the same after you gave birth as it was before hand. Both of you have changed through this process and you have a new life that you're responsible for. It can take time to get to know each other once again. One simple way of rekindling the flames of your relationship is to start regular dating again - time alone for just the two of you. Don't forget, your body will heal itself over time and you will have the power to be as sexy and feminine as you want.
Getting Back Into Shape
It can be rather disturbing when you give birth to your baby and your weight doesn't immediately drop off. For some new moms this is really upsetting. One of the biggest mistakes that women make is to try crash diets, intensive exercise, or anything else they can think of to lose their pregnancy weight within the first two months after the birth of their child. This isn't realistic, it took 40 weeks to get into this shape, and it is going to take time to get back to your pre-pregnancy weight. You need to keep in mind that nature created the process of childbirth to ensure you have the energy to take care of your baby and yourself throughout the next year - in this regard the additional fat deposits and bigger breasts are crucial. It will take time for your body to get back into shape. You need to exercise cautiously and avoid any intensive exercise which might cause injury during the first few months.
Lack of Sleep
All new moms experience a lack of sleep during the first few months. Some babies will follow a schedule at a young age and start sleeping at night. Other babies will wake you up every hour for the first six months. Feeling completely worn out due to lack of sleep can cause a lot of problems for new moms. It's important to put things into perspective. You know that you're going to have a few months of added responsibility and reduced sleep. If you remind yourself that this time will pass quickly and understand that this experience will help you grow as a person, it is less likely to overwhelm you. Focus on the gift of having a baby and try to get support from family and friends to help you get snatches of sleep through the day when they can baby-sit. Simply changing your focus will help you to get through this period of time with much less stress.
Inability to Take a Timeout
The last big issue that moms run into is an inability to take time out. Once you become a mom you're always a mom, 24 hours a day seven days a week. It's a full-time job, night and day, and sometimes it's hard to be able to take time away from your baby to do something fun for yourself. You need to trust your husband, parents, or baby sitter with your baby for short periods of time, so that you can take time out. When you become a mom, it is crucial that you don't forget what your passions are. Too many moms put their hobbies and interests completely on the back-burner. So whether it is hanging out with girl friends, going to a movie, reading a book, or going shopping, don't let your own need for interesting and fun activities fall to the way-side.
Favors should be at every baby shower for its guests. Cute little items, items that are easily available, are perfect for your shower. You have a great variety of party favors, such as gift certificates to choose from for your shower. Your party favors need not be expensive to be appreciated.
You will have fun giving out favors, and your party guests will enjoy getting those favors. Favors will also be a reminder of being at the shower. Plus, they will serve as a small thank you letting them know you appreciate their attendance at the shower. After all, the shower guests had a helping hand in celebrating the coming arrival of the new baby to be.
You also might want to have some extra Favors on hand. You never know if someone you didn't expect might drop in. Plus, there is always the possibility that you might misplace a couple of Favors. It will be good to be prepared with extra favors, just in case.
You can give out the favors as the guests arrive. Another way to give out the shower favors would be to have them placed around the table/s where the guests will be eating. If you are not serving a meal, hand the party favors out when you serve the appetizers. Or you could hand out the party favors as the shower guests are leaving. This is the time to thank each guest for coming to the shower. And to thank them for giving the guest of honor a gift.
You could also choose to have favors you can make yourself. One suggestion would be to personalize your favors. Check out favors crafts at any crafts store and let your imagination run wild. Your guests will love the idea of having favors homemade by the hostess. Talk about being unique!
Many different kinds of local stores carry items you can use to make party favors. There also are numerous online merchants that carry the items you need for party favors.
If you choose to make your own party favors, favors are not hard to make. Most of the items needed for making party favors are available locally. They are all easy items to find, so you shouldn't have any problems getting the items to make your favors.
Your shower will be appreciated by the party guests by this gesture. Even though favors are usually token items, the favors show that you have put a lot of effort into the planning. Making for a very enjoyable experience for yourself, your guests, and your guest of honor.
Choosing themes is the first step in planning a baby shower. Or, you may choose not to have a theme at all. However, having a theme for your shower should make the party entertaining, fun, and a memorable experience.
Before picking one, decide on what your guests would find enjoyable. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what you would want to do if you were the guests. Themes for your shower are time savers by providing a focus on the party.
The theme you decide on will determine everything else about the baby shower. The location, whom to invite, what kind of decorations, games, food and beverages.
You also need to determine if the shower will be before the baby arrives or after.
One of the themes that the Ladies would like would be a tea party. There are tea gift baskets that would work well with a tea party. Not only can Gift Baskets provide the theme for the shower, they can double as a centerpiece for your table decorations. With so many gift baskets available, you will be able to use a gift basket for almost any theme.
More Examples of Themes:
Baby Diaper Cake
Teddy Bear
Gift Basket
Stork
Harvest Moon
Nursery Rhyme
Baby invitation
Baby safari
Winnie the pooh
Christmas
Baby Shower cake
Baby girl
baby duck
Baby boy
Baby game
Baby buttery
Noah's ark
Decoration
Frog shower
Book shower
Rubber ducky
Sports
Care bear
Ducky
Teddy bear
Snoopy
Tigger
Jungle
Princess
Angel
Cowboy
Precious moments
Sports
Jungle
Much like any other parties, it does require some planning, but, being an informal event, you don't have to worry too much about all the details and you can keep things casual while at the same time being creative. The benefit of baby-themed parties is that there are many amazing things you could try and you can make most decorations and foods yourself. With a bit of imagination, you can turn the shower into an unforgettable event, not just a formality, and enjoy its memory for years to come.
Cute decorations
Decorations are key in creating a theme for the shower and establishing a warm and pleasant atmosphere in general. You don't necessarily have to create a theme if you don't want to, buy decorations are a must. Until not that long ago, future parents would choose decorations based on the baby's gender, but recently this trend has lost its popularity. If you don't want your baby shower to be gender specific, or if you're tired of classic ideas and want something new, you should think outside the box. choose charming decorations that can apply for both little girls and boys and place them carefully around the house. You can get everything from toys and stickers to baby themed plates and balloons. Pastel colours are recommended, because they inspire purity, playfulness and innocence.
Creative desserts
Desserts are the highlight of any baby shower, but, apart from pleasing guests who have a sweet tooth, desserts can be a sort of decoration if done properly. Instead of the traditional cookies and cupcakes, why not make thematic sweets shaped like cute animals? Baking them yourself can be quite difficult and the last thing you want in the last month of pregnancy is to spend hours in the kitchen, so ordering them from a candy shop would be more practical. Also, don't forget about the cake. It should be the most impressive dessert yet, so find a professional cake shop to bake you something custom and colourful.
Baby shower favours
Although shower favours aren't as important as wedding favours, they add a personal touch to your party and help guests remember what made the shower so special. Contrary to common belief, baby shower favours aren't expensive at all and you can even do them yourself. For example, you can fill a small jar with candy and then wrap some cute pastel colour ribbon around it. Alternatively, you can also offer mini tea sets, miniature stuffed toys or a jar of cookies.
Holiday themes
If you happen to throw the shower around a main holiday, such as Christmas, Easter, Halloween or St. Patrick's Day, you can use that holiday as inspiration for your shower theme. You can ask your guests to wear thematic costumes and choose your decorations accordingly. Regardless the holiday, there are many amazing baby shower ideas you can try.
Baby shower photography
People who don't like their picture being taken might wonder what the purpose of baby shower photography is if maternity photography and newborn photography exist. It's simple: the shower is a completely different part of pregnancy, the final step, where parents are the most excited. Maternity photography also illustrates pregnancy, but in a different way. The parents are usually alone and photographs consists of portraits. At baby showers, you can take candid photos and capture a fun event with all your friends and family. After many years go by, you will definitely love showing your grown up child how you got ready for the event and how happy you were to welcome them to the family.
No matter how you decide to decorate your home for the shower, planning is very important. Some things should be established one month before the big day, while others can be left until the last minute. Also, regarding the responsibilities for the planning, it depends how well you feel. Women with easy pregnancies like to take charge and organise everything themselves, while others decide to get help from their spouse, friends and family.
It's party time. A baby shower where the soon-to-be parents are going to find out the gender of their precious bundle is the most enjoyable type of party. The hostess of the party already knows whether the baby will be a boy or girl so she has to prepare a bunch of confectionaries to keep the parents guessing until the gender is revealed.
She starts off with multi-coloured cupcakes. This will certainly keep everyone guessing. Sunflower oil is combined with the dry ingredients so that the batter doesn't separate when baked. Before adding the multi-coloured icing on the cupcakes, the hostess fills the inside of the cupcakes with either blue or pink jelly for a fun touch to the confectionaries. She then creates a butter frosting and splits it in two. Next, a blue colouring is add in one batch and red in the other batch to make the butter frosting turn pink.The main cake that will reveal whether the baby is a sweet little boy or girl. This is exciting part and will be an emotional event for everyone at the baby shower.
The hostess uses a similar recipe to the one she used for the cupcakes but adds some melted chocolate for a sweeter and stronger taste. The ingredients are mixed together with sunflower oil to prevent the mixture from sticking to the pan. The hostess uses a silicone jelly mould to get the ridged shape for the cake.
Once the cake has been baked, it is easily removed from the mould that was lined with sunflower oil. The bottom will be cut out so that the hostess can fill the centre with the appropriate colour smarties. She then closes the smartie filled centre and applies colourful frosting for the final presentation.
The cake is moved to the table which is decorated with baby items and silver embellishments. The parents are excited because it is baby gender reveal time. Together, they pick up a cake knife and are filled with excitement. They make the first cut from the centre to the circumference and then repeat the step.
They slowly remove the piece and finally... They have found out that they are having a baby girl. A bunch of pink smarties spill out of the cake and all over the table for the guests to see. Both parents are crying with joy and hugging all their guests.
The excited parents can now prepare for a baby girl.
How often do you think of family life as an adventure or delightful experience? If you and your children are having a good day, then you might buy into this idea. However, many of you are probably laughing hysterically now. What is delightful about the children fighting for the umpteenth time today? Sometimes I bet your family life feels like a jungle with screeching and swinging monkeys.
It can be all too easy to get caught up in trying to control what is happening in the home instead of enjoying what is. God blessed us with beautiful children and we are most in touch with that precious love when the house is quiet and we watch them peacefully sleeping. So how can we connect to that love and enjoyment in the midst of family life?
Spend Quality Time with your Children
Spending quality time with children requires your full and undivided attention. Oftentimes moms are so busy trying to manage everything that we have one ear to the children and our mind on a million other things. Our children talk to us and we say "uh huh" without really hearing them. We take them to their games, lessons, etc. but how much do we really interact with them? To be delighted by your children, you need to be fully connected to them. You need to listen and marvel at how truly wonderful they are. Participate in activities they love. Relish their laughter and their unique personalities. It won't be long before your children are grown and gone from the house.
Understand Each Developmental Stage
To really enjoy your children, you need to understand who they are and what they are going through. The journey of a child to adulthood is filled with a multitude of changes. It is helpful to get inside your child's shoes by learning about the various stages of development. For instance, the other day I stripped my 3-1/2 year to get him ready for his bath. I said, "Come on, it's time for your bath." He looked at me with the meanest face he could muster and said, "NO!" It is much easier to deal with the defiance if you know that a 3 year olds' mission is to exert his independence. Here's this little guy wanting to grow up and be independent, but he knows deep down, he is still dependent on mom, and he doesn't like that. So I picked him up and held him in front of the mirror. He exercised his most defiant no over and over until he started laughing. Each stage of life, from infant to young adult, brings new behaviors and new growth. Educate yourself so you know what to expect from your child. Sometimes just understanding that your child is "normal" will help you relax as a mother.
Don't Be Afraid to Discipline
No one likes being around an unruly child. Children with a lack of discipline make motherhood stressful and less than pleasurable. Our job as mothers is to raise respectful, productive and loving adults. In order to do this, we need to teach our children boundaries. They need to know what acceptable and unacceptable behavior is. You have to set limits and avoid setting up a child-centered family. Children need to understand they are a part of a family and each individual has their own needs. Help them work together with other family members to create a peaceful and loving environment. An effective and disciplined family unit is truly a wonderful adventure.
Be Intentional about Motherhood
What would make motherhood more enjoyable for you? Take the time to reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of enjoyment for you. Be intentional about those changes. Maybe you want to make time to take care of yourself as a mother. Perhaps you long to be a more consistent parent. This month I am focusing on encouraging independence in my family. My motto is "everyone will do what they are capable of doing for themselves." Not only does this teach my children valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives me more time to be with my family. Setting intentions help you create a life you love.
Keep a Positive Reflection Journal
How do you want to see your children and your family life? Do you want to see motherhood as challenging or delightful? If you focus on the undesirable aspects of your family, then that is the experience you will create. If however, you can concentrate on the positive qualities of your children and your journey, you will create a rewarding family life. At the end of every day, take the time to record in a journal all the positive things your children said or did that day. Reflect on all the fun you had that day. Notice the wonderful qualities of each person in your family. And on your bad days when you find yourself wondering why on earth you ever decided to have children, pull out your journal and remind yourself what a truly amazing journey you are on.
1. Be open to listening, your son has something valid he wants to say
'They say', we have two ears and one mouth for a reason, to speak more than we listen. Sometimes as moms we get wrapped up in our busy lives and forget (not deliberately) that our sons are there and they need us to listen to them. Not just listen to the words they use but listen to what is behind the words. Say, for example you are on your way out, perhaps to the shops, perhaps to the internet café etc and your son says to you, 'mom are you going out?' It's usually obvious to both of you that you are going out - what is he really asking though? Perhaps he's saying, 'mom, I don't want you to go, or mom', 'I'd like to talk to you', or 'mom, something is bothering me - what do you think'?
What do you do? You know you are in a hurry. You really don't have time to talk at that time. It's really about choices - how important is what you have to do? Does it have to be done in that moment? If not, that's fine, you might perhaps make the choice to act flexibly enough to stop and talk to your son.
If you really do need to pay attention to something else and not to him in that moment - then just say very clearly, you know what he has to say is important and you would like to talk to him. Agree a time to have that conversation where your attention is not so divided.
In listening to your son, it is so important to be aware if you have lots of other things going on in your mind at the same time and to ask the question - to what extent am I really listening? If you notice you have a lot of verbal traffic in your head, it would be useful to make a conscious decision to deal with those other matters later. Our children know when we are not listening to them. Listen, consciously and aware, with good eye contact, perhaps sitting down or walking and talking and focusing just on him in that moment. He'll really appreciate it.
Listening to him, without interrupting and putting your own thoughts and views in is a real skill that is great to develop. Sometimes that's all they need is a listening ear.
2. Encourage talking
I think encouraging our sons to talk is a good skill for us as moms to develop. We live in societies often times where males are not necessarily encouraged to talk and not encouraged to talk about their feelings.
Here are some ways to encourage your son to talk:
o Ask him what he is thinking and how he is feeling
o Let him know that what he has to say is important.
Some of the ways to do this is:
o To tell him what he has to say is important to you and others.
o When he says something, use what he says in the conversation. If for example he is talking about one of his hobbies, and he talks about how much he is enjoying it, you may acknowledge that you really hear and appreciate that he is loving his hobby (obviously you would use the language that most suites your style of speaking)
o Use of non-verbal cues, such as nodding your head, voice volume (e.g. soft and welcoming), smiling (as apposed to frowning), gentle hand gestures (as opposed to sudden startling ones), be aware if you are feeling relaxed or stressed - this may leak out in the form of your body language (open or closed) - open, for example, with your arms uncrossed and closed may be the opposite.
o Use age appropriate language
o Let your son finish his sentence
o Don't finish his sentences for him
3. Avoid one way conversations, really sit and listen to your son
One way conversations with you in the driving seat isn't really a good idea.
I guess to some extent we've all had these types conversations where someone is literally boring your to death and you're there physically but not mentally - and in that way you switch off. Well you know this is exactly what your son will be doing if you engage in monologue as opposed to dialogue.
Here are some things you want to avoid when you are 'listening' to your son:
Talking at him, that could be considered a form of preaching, asking 'why' all the time which could be seen as interrogating, making judgements about what he is saying particularly if those judgements are not deemed as helpful by him, and so the list continues.
Sitting and listening to your son, does mean not getting caught up in distractions; it means maintaining good eye contact, repeating back to him some of the things he has said so that he knows he has been heard, this will also enable him to let you know if you've got what he said slightly wrong and so you might listen even more closely.
4. Ask open questions and listen for the answer
Open questions - who, what, when, why, where and how...
In starting communication with these words this will often lead to increased conversation and a willingness to maintain a dialogue. They enable the speaker to have an idea that the listener really wants to listen and is interested in what is being said.
It's difficult to give a yes or no answer using these words and that is the beauty of them. The speaker is encouraged to think through and elaborate on ideas etc.
5. Develop mutual trust
Developing a mutual trust really does come from having a mutual respect between you and your son, one that is based on love, caring, sharing and understanding. Mutual trust is developed through recognition that even if there are disagreements about what is being said; those disagreements will not spill over into name-calling, sneering, and put-downs etc.
Mutual respect is built up over time and is ongoing. At its heart is a sense of justice; a sense that your son has been treated fairly, openly and honestly. This will pay huge dividends in the long run.
The pregnant woman carries her baby for 40 weeks, growing and building a healthy baby. Her body goes through a tremendous metamorphosis, with many discomforts. But at the end, she gets to go through 18-24 hours of terrific pain and extreme physical exertion, to get the prize...the baby. This truly is the prize, because most new mothers will immediately want to go through it all over again, to know that they can get their baby whom they have love at first sight like no other love. So, it truly is a phenomenon that a human would receive so much benefit and reward that they could withstand the ultimate event of 40 weeks plus labor and delivery all over again!
So then what? After the baby comes, it doesn't stop here. This is where the endurance kicks in. Breast-feeding every 2 hours 24/7, exhaustion, hormonal changes, diapering, cleaning, cooking and everything else. After she spends time breast-feeding, her baby will go to sleep, and she will sit there and watch the baby sleep, only to miss her own time for rest, and then she has to get up and shower and go to the bathroom, only to have the baby want to eat again or be diapered!!!
Eventually moms will get the hang of it, but with her own body going through so much change and the fatigue from the birth itself can last a couple of weeks, unless she has had good prenatal and post partum care, of course.
So, how can dads help moms? Hopefully dads can take off at least 1-2 weeks to get mom recovered and the art of breast-feeding mastered. During this time, dads can make sure that all the shopping is done, and that the house is stocked. Hire a cleaning lady to come in at least 2 times a week, the first week to get things into shape. Dads can take care of the animals, and when mom breast-feeds, take the baby and burp the baby. Mom shouldn't walk and carry the baby at the same time for at least 1-2 weeks as the pelvis is very unsteady due to the birth and the repositioning.
Help with holding the baby during mom's showers, eating and personal care. In other words, just be there at her beck and call to help. Get her a glass of water or electrolyte drink, right when she starts to breast-feed the baby. Moms get so thirsty when they are breastfeeding.
Dads, don't let mom cook the first 2 weeks. Hire a cook, get a relative, grandmother, someone to cook for both mom and dad. Soups are good as they are instant nutrition and very cleansing. Make sure mom has her supplements and get them all set up for her. These 2 weeks are for bonding for both mom and dad, and baby as a family and each other.
Dads can get right into the mix, and try to become more nurturing. Men are notorious hunters, and women nurture. But after the baby comes, just be there to help in any way you can. You will help mom to heal, baby will do better, and dads will be able to bond with baby and as a family.
Sometimes dads don't know what to do with themselves, and feel they are left out. Dads need to get into the mix and answer the wishes of their wives by being their legs, their arms and their energy.
These are rough times for the traditional family unit. About half of all marriages end in divorce. Kids are more likely than ever to try drugs or alcohol at an early age. Violence and abuse are part of the everyday life of too many families. Fewer people seem to see the value of having a husband and wife stay together and raise their children.
For fathers, the situation is even more negative. The media depicts fathers as emotionally distant, overly strict, or completely clueless. What is a committed father to do in this environment? How can he make a positive impact on his family, when his contributions are often dismissed by society?
The fact is that no matter what certain segments of society say, fathers have a huge impact on their families. As much influence as media may have on today's children, a loving, involved father pulls even more weight.
How can a dad have the greatest impact on his family? Should he insist on taking his kids out of public school? Should he encourage his wife to stay home and become a full-time homemaker? Should he lead his family to throw out their TV and filter their internet access?
Those might all be good decisions for certain families. But a father can make the greatest impact on his family by doing one thing: being a loving, faithful, supportive husband to his wife. In the stress of raising kids and holding down a job, it's easy to forget that the husband-wife relationship is the foundation of a strong family.
Fathers who are committed to fully loving their wives leave a positive mark on their family in many ways. Here are just a few areas where dads can make a difference:
They lessen the number of disagreements in the family. If mom and dad are united, the kids can't play one against the other. Arguments end much quicker that way.
Wives have richer, fuller lives. Everybody wants to know they are loved and cherished. When your wife knows that, she is freed from seeking affirmation in other ways. She can be the woman she was meant to be.
Kids learn who they really are. Children get so many bad messages about what it means to be a man or woman in this society. Boys learn from their dads what true manhood is about. Girls learn that real beauty isn't found in a fashion magazine. Those are gifts that last for the lifetime of those children.
It isn't easy to commit yourself to loving one person for life. But the value of a husband faithfully loving his wife is immense. It really is the best way a father can build a great family life and a legacy for his children to follow.